Beginning dating can be scary, and people who come out as transgender are actually high risk for abusive relationships. There are more and more organizations popping up to help transgenders and bring awareness to the dangers and struggle they face. Research is finding that 30-50% of transgender people will face domestic abuse at some point in their life. It is important to protect yourself. Here are some tips to keep in mind when in the trans dating scene.
There is no official timeline for telling your tranny dating that you are trans. This is a personal thing and up to you to disclose.
NEVER feel like it is your fault if someone verbally or physically assaults you because of your gender identity. This is NOT OK, and they are to blame, NOT YOU!!!
When meeting for the first time, choose a public location you are BOTH comfortable with.
Be up front with your preferred pronouns. If you don’t let them know, they make use the wrong ones unintentionally.
Before a sexual encounter, communicate openly about what you BOTH are comfortable with and what your needs and desires are.
Trust your gut when on a first date, if something seems off find an exit. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you may be alone with someone who could hurt you.
Never leave your drink alone or not in your sight if you are meeting in a bar.
If you decide to go somewhere else with them, get the address and phone number of where you are going and give it to a friend, or even the bartender.
Even if you are only meeting for a quick hookup, meet in public first. Don’t EVER meet someone initially in a hotel room. There is no telling what will be behind that door.
Be clear and concise with your words and wishes. Remember that no means no.
Dating a trans woman can be scary, but it can also be a lot of fun. If you are smart about it, you will get the opportunity to have a lot of fun and meet some great people. Eventually, you may even find The One. Don’t give up, it can take time! Be confident in yourself, stand up for yourself, and be safe!
If you end up being a victim of violence, there are places to go for help:
https://transequality.org/issues/anti-violence
https://vawnet.org/sc/serving-trans-and-non-binary-survivors-domestic-and-sexual-violence/violence-against-trans-and
https://www.hrc.org/resources/fatal-violence-against-the-transgender-and-gender-non-conforming-community-in-2021
https://nomore.org/domestic-violence-transgender-community/
https://www.rainn.org/