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How To Find A BDSM Partner Online?

Updated: 5 days ago


Even though there are millions of people enjoying some kind of BDSM, it’s still taboo to talk about it openly, especially if it includes submission, domination, or anything the general public considers hardcore. People enjoying this type of sexual fetish are confined to look for BDSM partners online, which can be pretty difficult if you don’t know where to look.


There are thousands of BDSM dating sites. Some are popular, some aren’t, but it’s not like you don’t have a place to find like-minded people searching for the same thing you are. Once you start discovering these websites, you’ll realize just how many people share your passion for all that is kinky!





Pick A Couple Of BDSM Sites You Like


Although there are many sites BDSM-related online, you should never get overwhelmed by them. That’s why it’s best if you pick only a few that you like and stick with them. If you register to more sites you can keep up with, you can easily get confused and you’ll never be able to fully commit to any of them.


If you end up unlucky to find a dominant or submissive partner, you can always switch to some other websites you find interesting, but keep in mind that all these websites require your time.


Some of the websites you’d want to check out include Alt.com, BDSMDatingOnly.com, FetLife.com, MatchBDSM.com, MyBDSMHookups.com, and many more. All these sites offer the same – a platform that connects like-minded people who love the same kinky things.


Be As Precise As You Can About What You’re Looking For


Once you’ve picked a couple of BDSM dating sites to join, it’s time to create your online dating profile. Having a recent picture is something we don’t need to remind you to do, but when it comes to the textual part of your profile, you should be as precise as possible when it comes to the things you’re looking for. You know how BDSM can get complicated, and finding the ideal partner isn’t as easy as it is to find a regular hookup.


Some people like vanilla BDSM, some love hardcore spanking, chains, and humiliation, and only ideal matches can mix and enjoy their encounters. This doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to find someone you can have an emotional relationship with because most of the registered users on these sites are looking to satisfy their urge for sexual satisfaction. It’s not impossible, but there’s only a small chance you’ll find someone you can spend your life with.


Be Open About Your Fantasies And Sexual Desires


When you use specialized websites for the BDSM community, the best way to go is to be very open about the things that turn you on. Because you’ll use an alias, you can spill out your mind about all the kinky and nasty things that make you burn inside. Even though you’d think that every single member will skip you, it might not be the case. Just as you were shy to admit that something out of the ordinary turns you on, there are people out there who share your fears of being rejected because of something they like in bed.





When you meet someone on the internet, it’s likely that you’ll spend some time chatting first before you decide to take the next step and meet in person. During this time, you should talk about all the things that turn you on and ask about the things that turn on your potential partner. By being honest and direct, you’ll quickly realize whether you’re a good match or not. Not being sure if you’re compatible will just be a waste of time for the both of you! Although it will be hard to find a person looking for the exact same thing, you’ll most likely come across someone willing to experiment. You should be open-minded to other ideas as well and you’ll easily connect with a number of kinky members in your area.


Make Sure You Approach The Right People


This is a common problem for people looking for hookups both on BDSM and vanilla dating sites. Usually, the men are those who start interacting with potential partners and it’s a common issue that they approach the wrong person. The problem is that men are more interested in the exterior than the interior and approach different people based only on their looks.


This is a huge mistake because different people are looking for different things. This is especially important on BDSM dating sites because it’s a very specific sexual category. Before sending someone a message, make sure to read their biography and interests. This way, you’ll know if you have a chance with them at all. If you send a message to a girl looking for someone into light BDSM that includes blindfolding and tieing her hands, offering to spank her with a shovel, you’ll only spend time writing the message she probably won’t even reply to.


Discover The BDSM Community In Your Area


When looking for BDSM websites, try to find some that are localized to your country or city if you can. Many BDSM enthusiasts arrange meet&greet events where like-minded members can meet and even hook up. Sometimes, it’s better to meet someone in person and have a drink before you decide to arrange any type of intimate encounter with them. You can also get new ideas on how to improve your overall experience and even learn some new things you can try during your next BDSM session!


Take Your Time


Finding a BDSM partner online is easier and faster than finding the ideal partner in a club or bar. You have the advantage of knowing what they’re interested in even before talking to them and it gives you the possibility of being completely honest about your intentions.


Weeks or even months can pass before you come across an ideal partner. The most important thing is not to lose hope and keep your head up during the entire process.

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