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Couple Swapping: Everything You Need To Know To Have Sex With Another Couple

Couple Swapping

Do you want to spice up your sex life? Are you considering couples swapping? It is not a new

Couple swapping can be as exciting to the degree you want it to be. There are different reasons you want to practice couple swapping. It begins with rational thinking about the decision and carrying your wife along.

In this article, you will learn everything about couple swapping, the kinds of couple swap, benefits and disadvantages of wife swapping, how to begin couple swapping as a first timer, and how to start a couple swapping. Follow closely and learn.

The Definition of Couple Swapping or Wife Swapping

Couple Swapping can be simply defined as the exchanging of partners with another couple. It is also known as wife swapping. This lifestyle is not a new development as there are several people who share this similar passion as you.

The rule everyone is familiar with is that, do not share your partner with another person. Some even call it cheating. However, no one has made this an existential rule. Many people have embraced the couple swapping lifestyle. So, why not?

The only worry is getting your partner to be on board with you. However, you are both adults and expected to be open minded about it. Worried about how to go about the conversation? Learn how to have this mature conversation with your partner in another section of this article.

What couple swapping is not?

To know what couple swapping is, it is important to know what couple swapping is not. The commonest misconception about couple swapping is its comparison with open relationships. Follow closely to know the difference.

Open relationship is an agreement between two couples where both parties can have extra sexual affairs with other people. However, couple swapping is different as the agreement is to swap partners with other couples. Some people refer to this type of lifestyle as swinging.

In couple swapping, the relationship may be sexually open and romantically monogamous. Their partner can be in the same space with them while they go ahead to have sexual affairs with outside partners.

Threesome is not swinging. However, people who engage in threesome can identify as swingers since swinging is a lifestyle. If the third participant is not a swinger, their sexual intimacy will rather pass as a threesome and not couple swapping.

Swingers have their community and terms. These terms are codified and only people who belong to the group can understand what they imply. Commonest examples are soft swapping, hard swapping, wife swapping, and full swapping. Some of these terms are explained in the next outline, keep reading.

What are the Kinds of Couple Swaps?

wife swap at first time

The major kinds of couple swaps are described here.

1. Soft Swap

In soft swap, all forms of sexual activity are allowed but there is no penetration. As a first timer, you may want to begin with soft swap to test the waters and establish a strong relationship between both parties. It can be the foundation that determines the trajectory of couples that are ready to explore the swinging world.

The reason for soft swap is because couples want to set boundaries. It helps to reduce the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy. Also, penetration could mean something more serious for others. While other believe, whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.

Do not force your partner into a full swap (penetrative sex). Understand what they are cool with and preserve your relationship with them.

Activities in soft swap can include caressing, kissing, fingering, flirting or even oral sex. If you are cool with soft swapping, you can proceed to full swapping.

2. Full Swap

On the other hand, hard swap will involve penetration. The rules are behaviourally the same as soft swap but it involves the actual sex. Some people regard oral sex or manual sex (use of toys) as full swap. There is no standard for this as only agreement with your partner can decide this.

3. Wife swapping

This is the same term as couple swapping. For the misogynist, they may not be cool with the choice of words. However, it was known as “wife swapping” because men have been more expressive about such desires.

The game has changed now as any person can show interest in swapping. It doesn't matter who wants it - just have proper discussion to discuss the terms.

The Benefits and Disadvantage of Wife Swapping

Now that it has been established that couple swapping is also known as wife swapping, then both words can be used interchangeably. This section satisfies the curiosity of many - what are the benefits and possible disadvantages of sexual wife swap?

Benefits of Wife Swap

1. More excitement

Couples who engage in couple swapping do so because they want to add more excitement to their sex life. No doubt, doing the same thing over and again will lead to monotony. Hence, a couple swap might be the way to add more excitement to your relationship.

Inseparable from excitement is its accompanied naughtiness. Rather than being bound by social and ethical rules, you can live on the edge and enjoy all the naughtiness you want.

2. Expressing and satisfying sexual desires

Different people have their kinkest desires. For some, it could be to engage in couple swap. There is no better time to explore this lifestyle than now.

Wife swapping at the first time can help to know your partner’s kinkiest desires. Also, it helps to have discussions with other couples about what their deepest pleasures are. Luckily for you, you may meet someone who has a similar fantasy as you.

3. Add more adventure

Much more than expressing and satisfying your sexual desires, couple swapping is also to have a new experience in the relationship. It does not matter if they have considered it before or not, all that is happening now is to add more adventure.

It is possible that you want a couple swap but your partner does not. Since that is the case, you can discuss with them and have the adventure alone. Nevertheless, if they are interested too, they can go ahead and you both can discuss this new adventure overtime.

4. Sexual variety to spice things up

You love your partner and there is no doubt about that. But, the truth is that you can get bored of their daily interactions with you. If you are dating an introverted person, there is a higher chance that you wll lose interest in the relationship as soon as possible. This is the reason many people do not prefer monogamy.

The question now is, what can be done differently? Couple swapping. Much more than the new experience, it can help one’s partner to step up and be willing to spice things up.

5. Way to go for happy couples

Do you categorize your relationship as happy? Will your partner be interested in strengthening the existing bond? Then, it is time to consider couple swapping.

Both individuals will agree to this new sex life. Safe to say, they are birds of a feather that flock together. No party is expected to keep a secret from another and as such, they will express their kinkiest desires, discuss their experience with the couples, and keep their partner posted about next activities.

If you can get to this stage with your partner, you have no need to worry about how much they love or care for you.

6. Face your fears

As human beings, we can package our jealousy and call it territoriality. It is just jealousy and not wanting to share your partner with another person. But, you got to face your fears sometimes to test new limits.

You can only overcome what you have faced. The result is that it helps you in the process of self-development. Facing your fears might begin with carrying your partner along. Just learn to face it and move on.

Possible disadvantages of couple swapping

The existential truth about life is that it comprises good and evil. By implication, you can expect possible negative sides to a thing that has advantages. The disadvantages are inevitable and it is always advisable to be ready if they happen.

1. Rejection of opinion

Everyone would agree that this is a possible challenge while still considering couple swapping. There are several questions they may ask to critique the suggestion. Also, you would have some worries like;

  • What if the other man is attractive to your partner?

  • What if the other man last longer in bed than you?

  • What if my wife loses interest in me?

These and other “what ifs” remain major concerns before going into couple swapping.

2. The secrecy of couple swapping

Do not forget that couple swapping is not accepted ethically by the society. Of course, there is more acceptance than rejection of this lifestyle in this current age. Nevertheless, you do not want to start explaining to other people the reason for your couple swap.

Also, the emotional stress that comes with explaining to another person can be too much to handle. Pressure from friends, queries from family - all can be overwhelming. Hence, it is always advisable to keep it a secret.

3. It can end a relationship

In as much as there is fun and excitement, jealousy remains a valid disadvantage. One may think your partner is mature and jealousy should not be a problem. But, what if it is?

Also, you can begin to question your partner’s sexual faithfulness to you. It is just some friction that can end your existing relationship. Always remember this possibility.

4. Planning can be time-consuming

It is not an overnight decision as the decision begins with two parties but may need four people’s agreement. After agreement, you want to carry out some medical checkups to know the health status of the other couple and know if you want to proceed with them or otherwise.

The next activity might be setting up schedules. Since you are considering four people, you have to consider their schedule to ensure everyone is on the same page. At the same time, there is no assurance that events will still go as planned.

5. Getting interested partners can be difficult

Finding interested couples can be a hilly task. You may have to rely on the internet or the use of dating apps to connect with a person ready to swap. This has its downside and may not result in a desired outcome.

Tips for Couple Swapping at the First Time

sexual wife swap

Trying our couple swapping as a first timer can be difficult since it requires a lot of planning and time. However, you can enjoy this unconventional relationship with the possible disadvantage. Follow the tips below and you are good to go.

1. Have agreement with your partner

Having agreement with your partner is the most important step you need as a first timer in couple swapping. Discuss basic things like who, where, when, and limits. Agreement could mean you have a legal document to show that you both wanted this lifestyle and anything aside from the agreement can be regarded as cheating.

The first conversation can be awkward. It can come with jealousy, shame and anger. However, it is only for the first step - the hurdle is at this stage and it gets easier to move forward.

Also, do not be forceful. Let your partner think through the process and decide if they want or not.

2. Have existing rules

Your agreement should include existing rules. Do not make assumptions as they can destroy your relationship. Rather, sit your partner down and lay down rules that will guide your activities.

Your rules can include the frequency of meeting, attending the other couples at the same time, use of protection, and even the kind of couple swap. Try to have as many rules that can cover the grounds.

3. Trust is inevitable

Much more than the ground laws, it becomes impertinent to trust. The swinging lifestyle can be complicated. You just have to learn to trust your partner and believe the best of them.

Also, you can expect them to query you more at the start, especially if you suggested a couple swapping to them. Give them time and watch the trust get stronger.

4. Swap with experienced couples

As first timers, you can swap with seasoned couples and not newbies like you. This way, you can learn by precept and example. They will share great tips that have helped them navigate this lifestyle.

It is advisable to avoid friends. They can easily develop feelings and be unable to separate the sex life from friendship. Also, you have common friends and staying far from home helps to keep your secret safe.

5. Communication is key

Communication becomes the connecting bond for agreement and trust. You are never wrong with good communication. It helps them to feel at ease.

Keep them posted about the swinging lifestyle - what you are doing and maybe new things you may want to try with them. To a large degree, this should reduce jealousy.

How to Start a Couple Swapping

Now that you have learned all the basics of couple swapping, the next step is to start couple swapping. How?

1. Use Swinger Sites

Adult site remain the simplest way to start couple swapping. The reason is because you can connect with other interested couples with no signal attached. It can be a one-time event or have further meeting plans with them.

Top swinger sites for couple swapping include;

  1. AdultFriendFinder

  2. Ashley Madison

  3. SwingLifeStyle

  4. SwapFinder

  5. Kasidie

  6. SLS

  7. FabSwingers

  8. Bicupid

  9. SDC

  10. Swingles

  11. Swingular

2. Talk to a therapist

The saying “experience is the best teacher” is true when it comes to couple swapping. You should speak with an experienced person to learn other things you might be missing out.It is always advisable to speak with someone that has a neutral attachment from you or your partner.

Also, speaking with a therapist helps your partner to believe you have their care at heart. The therapist can recommend some movies or adult content for you two. While the therapist helps to evaluate your new decision, you can have a wholesome view of couple swapping.

3. Just Start

As discussed earlier, you must learn to face your fears. You just have to start to see what lies ahead of you. It could be that you are only being imaginative and the experience may be different when it starts.

In as much as you maintain constant communication while at it, you both can survive the edgy start. Also, with time, you two will feel comfortable and know how to act better.

4. Join Swinger Parties

Couple swapping is a lifestyle - you do not have to be alone. You can join people with a similar mindset as you. It helps to learn how to be better.

Do not go alone, especially if you are trying out couple swapping for the first time. Go with your partner and let them experience every part of the party with you. It strengthens your communication and trust.


Couple swapping can be a great experience if you know what you are doing. This article has detailed all you need to have a great sexual experience while relating with another couple. Remember, patience is a virtue - you will need a lot of it in this new adventure.

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